No More Mr. Mom Part (3)
Finally after going around and around for hours, they got down to the underlying issue. “I do not love your kids,” she whispered. “I might never love your kids.” It hurt Jake to hear those words from his future wife, but he was able to listen and respond. They were able to discuss how both of them felt differently for the children living under their roof.
Debra was virtually a stranger. There was no way she could feel the kind of unconditional love for those girls that her husband felt. And even though her husband could understand her viewpoint, he still hoped that they could be one big happy family. “The love I have for those girls is not unconditional; it’s conditional,” says Debra, whose sentiments echo many of the feelings expressed by stepmothers across the country when they are first struggling to form a new family.
Bonds between steps can become strong and long-lasting, but it doesn’t happen overnight. And it doesn’t happen for everyone. Sandy was 36 and an established account manager at a media company when she married her husband. Tim had two boys, 8 and 10 years old, who lived with their mother and stepfather in another state.
The only time Sandy’s stepsons spent with her and her husband was holiday vacations and five weeks every summer. For Sandy, it was like a bomb erupting in her house every time her stepsons arrived because it was such a disruption to her and her husband’s daily lives. And though she never once let on to her stepsons, with whom she has very close relationships now that they are 17 and 19, she admits she sometimes hated their guts. “It got to the point that I thought, ‘I hate these kids. I wish they would run out into traffic.
Related posts:
- No More Mr. Mom Part (4) I wish they were never born.’ And then I felt...
- No More Mr. Mom Part (2) As they neared their destination, her fiancé casually mentioned he...
- What Stepmother actually is? Part (3) Your family of origin has a great deal of influence...
- No More Mr. Mom As Georgianne’s story illustrates, it’s not only your expectations about...
- Learn the Culture before You Can be Effective Part (3) “I got to know them oneon- one and they each...