“I got to know them oneon- one and they each made an effort. That was the key. They weren’t ‘The Kids.’ And they were all so hungry. They love their mother, but my stepson would just talk and talk and talk. I would need to change clothes and he would keep talking through the door. He was very open and they were all willing to just know me.”
You first interview everyone and find out how things have been working before you begin implementing changes. It’s the same with stepfamilies. So take time to gather information before you demand allegiance from the kids. If you have more than one stepchild, it’s easy to fall into the habit of treating the kids as if they’re in a pack.
You might be used to running the show at work, but when you start a job, you must learn the culture before you can be effective. You know when you take on a new client it’s going to take time and work to get to a place where you trust each other.